I’m a psychologist – here’s how to have the best solo sex of your life in 3 simple steps

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WHATEVER your relationship status, solo sex is a healthy part of a normal sex life.

But how can you get the most out of your alone time?


One expert has revealed ways to have the best sex – and you don’t even need a partnerCredit: Getty

We asked Jo Hemmings, sex and relationship psychologist for Knect, to share her top tips to help everyone learn the joys of solo sex.

She told Sun Health: “Single sex can relieve your feelings of sexual frustration in a highly pleasurable way.

“It also helps you get to know your own body and what makes you feel good.

“It also has many other benefits too – tightening women’s pelvic floor muscles and helping with period cramps.”

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She added that it’s a great stress reliever too, as it can increase your sex drive and make you feel more confident.

“It can even help you sleep better, as your orgasm will release oxytocin, a hormone that promotes sleep,” Jo said.

If you’re new to solo sex, it might feel intimidating, but Jo said it can be incredibly fulfilling – you can absolutely orgasm on your own and it might even be a better experience.

Here’s how to go about it…

1. Bring in reinforcements

We’ve all seen episodes of Sex and the City where they flag how good sex toys can be, and Jo said there’s nothing wrong with using aids to help you climax.

She said: “Research has shown that around 50 per cent of women have better orgasms on their own, than with a partner.

“You might be able to bring yourself to climax on your own, in bed or in the shower for example.

“But many people find that a simple sex toy and plenty of lube, will achieve a more powerful orgasm in a relatively short time.

“They are especially revelatory if you have been close to having an orgasm but can’t quite reach a climax on your own.”

2. Explore

Jo said you need to give yourself permission to experience self-pleasure.

That means if you have never tried it, or if you feel reserved about it, try and think of it as part of your self-care routine.

She said: “Without any expectations, try taking a mirror to your genitals and appreciate and understand what you see.

“Then using your fingertips, rich in nerve endings, just stroke or lightly touch that area. It is highly likely you will start to feel aroused.”

Jo said to take your time, and if you feel comfortable, use some lubrication to help explore further and deeper.

She said: “You may well feel ready to start to masturbate and try and reach an orgasm.

“But if it doesn’t happen for the first few times – or you need a sex toy to help – don’t worry, it can be a slow process.”

3. Switch your mindset

Most people think of masturbating as a nice, relaxing activity.

But for some, that’s not the case. Jo said: “Perhaps you grew up in a religious or a cultural home environment where masturbation was considered wrong.

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“If you have ever experienced any form of sexual abuse, that can also make you feel ashamed about masturbating.

“Find out more about masturbation and you will begin to understand that it’s both psychologically and physically healthy, increasing higher self-esteem and general wellbeing, and nothing to be ashamed of at all.”

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